Blogmas Day 9: Dreams

Dreams

We all have or had dreams growing up. Mine was to be a dancer, I used to imagine myself making my body into different positions on a big stage. I still love dance, and I mean dance in general, I have no particular type, it’s all the same to me. You move your body to convey something to show an audience, whether that audience be 1 person of 1000 people, that aim is the same. To make your audience feel what your feeling and be entertained by what your doing!

What I call general dance, is what they used to do in music videos back in the 90′s, Spice girls, Sclub7, All Saints e.t.c I used to learn and copy all the moves. It wasn’t until I was a little older I realized that wasn’t really what you could call dance. I discovered yet never pursued ballet, tap and street. Ballet conveys emotion like no other, tap shows determination whilst street shows the desire to break through the mold and be different from everyone else.

I am a fan of all types of dance and I admire anyone that has the true determination to make it! It makes me wish I had tried harder and took the steps to become the dream dancer I wanted to be. However my self esteem and confidence wasn’t great in school and the one thing you need to be a great dancer is confidence. To be able to stand in front of a crowd and perform your little ass off to the best of your ability!

So there was my dream as a kid. I still dance but only for my own entertainment and exercise. So let me know in the comments. What was your dream. Did you achieve it. If your making your way to your dreams then I wish you the best of luck!

Till next time

Stay safe

Jamie-Leigh x x x

Blomas day 5: It's rich mans world

Hello

So it's Blogmas Day 5!!!

Today I wanted to delve into some personal aspects of my life, this being a personal blog and all :S but it's something that has been bothering me for a little bit now so I thought I would write it all down and take it from there.

Money!

Now we all have those friends in life that seem to want for nothing, and it's safe to say I wasn't and still aren't one of those friends! I grew up with barely any money in my family and we just had enough to go by, and unfortunately it's still the same to this day, I am currently unemployed and I'm not going to delve into why I left my last job but I may do in the future, I'm not quite sure yet.

Anyway, like I said, I didn't have much money when I grew up and I always had friends that seemed to have money oozing out of their pores, one friend would be able to get £20 a day of their parents, and it didn't seem to bother them that they were taking it, but I was brought up to be conscious of money, where it came from and most definitely that we didn't have any. I missed out on things and felt judged that I couldn't go to certain places because of the lack of money and it made me feel like shit. I didn't understand how they could think my mum was a money tree and would try and persuade me to pester her for money she simply didn't have. She was a single mum raising 2 children and paying all the bills by herself and not being able to work 40 hours a week because she had to parent.

Even when I began work I never really had much money to myself, I helped my mum with the bills and eventually had my own to pay for so I would treat myself once a month to something little that I had had my eye on for a while, silly things like credit on my phone or a new mascara (Yes I had no money!)

Christmas and birthdays, I would feel the same judgement, some friends got loads of money and presents, where I got a lot less, and I'm not complaining one bit, I feel like my mum did everything she could to make those days special and memorable, Christmas was made aware to me of being of religious significance and my personal beliefs stem from that, no I am not the most religious person you will ever meet but I did and still do go to church, I still celebrate christian holidays and my beliefs and values stem from my religion. I do not judge anyone who has or hasn't got any money, I empathize with people who struggle with day to day life, and I believe that we were put on this earth to do something worth while with our lives, whether it brings us money or not.

My goal as I get older is to earn enough to live "comfortably", no I probably won't have a big house or farm like I want, no I won't have a massive 60" 3D smart, cooks your tea for you and wipes your arse TV but I'll have the knowledge that I am a decent human being and that I was brought up and I'm trying to be the best person I could be. Not that people with money can't be good people too, I just came to the realization that people who flaunt their money to the people that don't have much and begin to judge, criticize and manipulate people simply aren't worth the time anymore, it gets you down and if you let it get to you can make you feel worthless, believe me I've been there.

My advice to people with the luxury of money is, don't judge, criticize or manipulate people who don't have money, think about how they're feeling and offer some emotional support for those struggling.

Till next time

Stay Safe

Jamie-Leigh x x x